I. the Camel Epic
Zoophilism
or About Hank's Some Weakness
Posted by Can October 14, 1997 Esli kak-to u dorogi
Ty uvidish', kak v berloge
Pryachetsya verblyud dvurogij,
Vos'miglazyj, shestinogij,
Polosatyj na grudi -
Zverya luchshe ne budi,
Unosi skoree nogi,
K Hanku srazu prihodi
I s soboy ego vedi :
Pro verblyuda Hank rasskazhet,
I pocheshet, i pokazhet,
Razberet i soberet,
I na nem tebya prokatit
I s soboyu zaberet.
V shkafchik za steklo postavit,
Tebya v kreslitse usadit
Nezhno zA plechi voz'met
Na ushkO proizneset :
' Esli kak-to u dorogi ... '
etc
Re: Once were warriors!
Posted by Kvadrat on October 16,
1997
Mnogije sudiat o Zhenshine po ee
glazam, pohodke, nogam, stanu, rechi,
pricheske, tzvetu volos itd., a ja suzhu po otnosheniju
ee k VERBLIUDAM.
Da.. vot tak vsegda i sprashivaju, kogda do intimnih
momentov dohodit,
i ona nachinajet tomno dishat'..!..Ja tut kak tut:
"Dorogaja, dzjanim, odin
vopros, pered tem kak mi nachnem malen'kih kvadratikov
shtampovat'...
kak ti otnosish'sia k dvugorbim VERBLIUDAM ?" Hochu
soobshit',
chto poka eshe ne stal Otzom-Kvadratom.
Vash Kvadrat.
VERBLIUZHIA tema
Posted by KVADRAT on October 18,
1997
O nas ved' tak mnogo skazano v narode:
1.Sobaka lajet, a karavan.. ?... ah? kto otgodajet ?
2.Liuda, slez' s VERBLIUDA !
3. Chelovek cheloveku.. ? ah? pravil'no - VERBLIUD
4. Chem bi VERBLIUD ne teshilsia.. ah..? Pravil'no,
"lish' bi ne plevalsia!"
5. VERBLIUD VERBLIUDA, vidit ah ?.. Pravil'no - Izdaleka!
6. Smeh bez prichini priznak ah..? Pravil'no -
VERBLIUZHINI!
7. Esli tebia udariat po levoi sheke, to podstav'.. ah ?
Pravil'no! - VERBLIUDA!
8. Sitii VERBLIUD golodnomu ne verit.
I nakonetz, s gordost'ju, moje sobstvennoje izrechenije:
"Luchshe imet' 2 VERBLIUDA, chem Kavkazskuju
Plemiannitzu !"
Variatchii na temy VERBLUDEY
Posted by N.P. on October 19,
1997
VERVLYDOV boiatsia - v Mahale ne
postit'.
VERBLYD - ne vorobey , plunet - ne ototreshsia.
Skol'ko na VERBLYDA ne zalezay , a vse ravno slezat'
pridetsia.
Chelovek predpologaet , A VERBLYD na nego pluet.
Beregi VERBLYDA s molody.
Ne stoi pod VERBLUDOM !
Re: Krasnoy Shapochke
Posted by Little Reddish Hood on
November 17, 1997
Gost'ja knows my Reddish Hood?!!
It's presented by Verblyud,
Who was eaten by my Granny,
Does it sounds very funny?
Zaiavlenie ot obchestva zashiti
VERBLUDOV!
Posted by N.P. on October 18,
1997
Verblud - verbludy govorit,
Nos vitiraia, chtyt' na placha,
Menia vot "Gost'ey" obozvali
Daaaa, "Gost'ey", eto nezadacha.
Ia ponimay, esli - bi,
Ny "Hankom", chto-li, obozvali.
A tyt tak srazy: "Gost'ia" ti,
Kak kamnem pO nosy popali.
Skagi spasibo, dorogoy,
Chto "Byratinoy" ne prozvali.
Il' "Chainikom", ili "Boboy",
I prosto ne o-SheZa-vali.
=====================
Ta skazka log', da v ney namek,
Kogda dve genchini derytsia,
Verbludam lychshe otoiti,
Ne to po nOsam popadetsia.
II. Prizes
50,000 hits!
Posted by Webmaster on December
01, 1997
A guest # 50,000. We will place your
photo in CU.
Regards,
Webmaster
Re: Webmasteru, P.S.
Posted by Banana Split on
December 02, 1997
Dorogaja Gost'ja, esli vy pobedite v
etom konkyrse
to vy polychite to ob chem vse eto vremja mechtali -
plushevogo hanka (natyral'nogo razmera), prjamo iz
magazina mjagkih igrushek.
Vash pokornyi slyga,
B.S.
Re: Webmasteru, O Prizah
Posted by Hank on December 02,
1997
Otkril stranitzu v Cuber-Uz,
A tam - Banana, Chernij Us
Sidit i sam s soboi mechtajet,
V podarok Hanka predlagajet!!
Takoi obidi Aksakal,
Ni ot kogo eshe ne znal!
Reshil on prouchit' tot Split,
Zadumal mest' i noch' ne spit.
Ne spit odnu.. ne spit druguju,
Na gadost' on gotov lubuju.
No vot prishla vdrug telegramma:
"BANANU SJELA OBEZ'JANA!!"
I vnov' vernulsia appetit ,
Dovol'nij zhizn'ju on hrapit...
Pod pledom teplim na divane,
Mechtaja priz dat' Obez'jane.
Re: Webmasteru, O Prizah
Posted by Banana Split on
December 02, 1997
Iz obezjanego zgelydka
Ja nabludal kak ne na shytku
Strastei byshyushix stixija
Zapolonjaet Makhalu
Y kazgdogo svoi zgelanija
Pomogyt vozmestit' stradanija
Komy figuristyu baby
Komy kopchennyu svin'u
I ja mechtal, xotel i veril
I zgdal kogda otkroet dveri
Syd'by volshebnou rukou
Moja izbraniza sama... no okazalac' obez'janoi...
(to be continued)
Monkey (prodolzhenie)
Posted by Gost'ja on December
02, 1997
Ta, chto ko mne vorvalas' r'jano.
I netu mne s teh por pokoju,
Spasaite...Help... Shozhu s uma!
Re: Webmasteru, O Prizah
Posted by Monkey on December 02,
1997
Kto koposhitsia tam vnytri?
S ytra banana dva poela,
I povaliatsia zaxotela,
No pischa krytit mne kishki!
Chto-chto? Narygy vi xotite?
seichas, sxogy ia v tualet,
Banane - proezdnoy bilet,
I vi svobodni! Vixodite!
Monkey
III. Daily
Na temy dnia....
Posted by N.P. on December 04,
1997
Odnagdi plusheviy medved',
Reshil martishky zaperet',
Chto-b ne boltala vpred'.
Martishke dal banany s'est'
O, xitraia bila ta mest'
V otvet na lest'.
Martishka nachala ...et'
Martishke skoro ne sterpet'
A mishke - pofiget'!
Dveri zakriv lituu med',
Kiss.coma glupuy vsy set'
Poshel on posmotret'.
----------
I kak,vsegda, moral' tyt est'!
Ne gdi poka pridyt otpet'
Vozmognost' popotet'!
Re: Na temy dnia....
Posted by Gost'ja on December
04, 1997
Dorogoy Poet, zamechatel'no, no u Vas
ochen' zaputanno-slozhnaja moral'.
Ja predlagaju druguju:
Poslushai moi sovet, profan,
Kol' hochesh' ti imet' martishku,
To ne davai ei est' banan,
Podsun' ei plushevogo Mishku.
Na temy dnia #2...(Brodway v
10.00pmEST)
Posted by N.P. on December 05,
1997
SEGODNIASHNIAIA PROGULKA PO BRODVEU.
(kak vsegda, podragania Mal'vine)
Davay, veselaia Isha,
Mi slezem quikly s Ishaka,
Nazhmem na knopochky misha,
I po Brodway nespesha,
Vdol' tex salonov gde Aka,
vsex priglashal popit' chaika,
Poidem poichem shashlika,
Ykropa kinem i luchka,
A za yglom pop'em pivka,
(stekliashka v Skverike bila)
Poriv proxladniy veterka
sneset obrivki materka,
Y teatra Gorkogo tolpa,
Gelaet smisla "iz gnezda"
Vse zvezdi zavtrashnego dnia,
Zastriali v nebe navsegda,
Mi SheZy vstretim s ParizhA
rasskaget kak on davechA
Plevalsia s bashni EifeliA.
Xoziaike doma mi v glaza
posmotrim negno i lubia.
Mi tam yvidim bez tryda
Banany Spilita bez ALTa,
Kvadrata, Hanka i NanA.
A Stella (znachit to "zvezda")
Nam testi kinet RorshaxA.
Po ixnemy yge s ytra,
S laptopa, pryamo spod mosta,
V pol'te iz starogo triap'ia
nash Tino kriknet vsem YRA!
Ia s vami, milie dryz'ia!
(watch for zanozi, detvora)
...
I vse-ge kak zovyt tebia?
Tebe begat'? kak gal' - poka!
Na temy dnia (#3)
Posted by N.P. on December 15,
1997 at 09:53:56:
A I B sideli na trybe,
A ypalo B propalo,
Chto ostalos' na trybe?
A na dele bil rastroen,
E na fotki ne prishla.
H v rossiu vot sobralsia
G sidit vse y okna....(TM)
B deistvitel'no propalo
No v Avstralii vsplilo
Track s podarkami ygnalo
Podelitsia - zapadlo.
BRE po pope E nashlepal
W nam schetchik pochinil
D moskovskyuy nadibal
Tol'ko H on priglasil.
D yg redko k nam zaxodit
Vspomnit' matom tot ykrop,
S vse linki poteriala -
Psixo-ymnix kto poimet?
M lynou serebristoy
Nad eley koncov parit.
Sexyal'nost'u volnistoy
Otvergaet i manit.
R nash rezko povzroslevshiy
T stal luchshe ponimat'
Toli novim drygom levshim
Toli starim T nazvat'.
P za Beatls ctoia vipil
Sidia y vraga v tily.
O v Tashkent pyti napravil
Devok macat' s Karasy.
Vot takaia vot pogoda,
A zapil, a B podsel,
Tolko Q svoy zad kvadratniy
Na bananax prosidel.
Re:
Posted by Kvadrat on
December 16, 1997
PS: A s PROZAKOM tebe eshe rano
rasstavat'sia.
Prinimai kak predpisali i prigovarivai:
Ne bojus' DEPRESSII teper',
Mne VERBLUD ne strashen - etot liutii zver'!
Esli zakruzhit'sia zimniaja metel'
Ja primu tabletku, liagu na kushetku - budu zhdat' kapel'
Re:
Posted by D.Nekto on
December 16, 1997
"Stihi pletu
Kvadraty sozdayu
Kruchu-verchu s Braziliankoi
(A Gost'a mozhet podozhdat'-
Syra esho zemlyanka)"
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