Ja perepisivalsia s odnoi devitzei okolo mesiatza, a zatem reshili vsretit'sia.
Ona okazalas' krasivaja shatenka iz Moskvi.
Poshli posidet' v restoranchik na beregu okeana.
Ona rasskazivajet chto zdes' (v Amerike) god, priehala kak turistka, no hochet
"Zatzepit'sia".
Zatem, takoje ponesla: "Vi-to vsiakije natzionali
(t.e. ne russkije) zhili horosho v SSSR, i siuda popali
kak po maslu katajetes'"

Dal'she - huzhe: "Vot vi, muzhiki, nas, zhenshin, v
Amerike, boites'! Ved' mi na vas chut'-chto,
i v Politziju, chto mol sexual'no pristaval.
A tam... stol'ko neprijatnostei, chto poka s baboi ne rasschitajesh'sia
to kak jurodivii na odnoi noge vertet'sia budesh'!
A v Rossii na zhenshin prosto pliujut!"
Rasschitalsia ja tut zhe za cheese cake i bil takov.
Ona mne v dogonku: "chego vi tak rasstroilis' ? Hank, podozhdite, podvezite do domu.."
No ja uzhe virulival na svojom Harleje s parkovki.



Re: Russian Date From Hell
Posted by Muslim on September 10, 1997

Hank, ty menia vdoxnovil, izveni, ya tyt ypominau pled i teshu, no bez nix nikak.

Shatenku povstrechial,
Schital by ya vezen'em
Skupoi syd'by podarok rokovoi,
No sladost' piroga razbavila ty zel'em
I teshi prizrak moi smytil pokoi

Yidy!
Ykrouc' teplym pledom
Oshibok staryx vnov' ne povtoru
Blondinky ya teper' ishu v xmel'nom vesel'e
Pover'te mne druzia, ya pravdu govoru:
Shatenki - svolochi, zarazy
Blondinki - glupye no dobrye dyshoi
Poslyshaitec' vy moego nakazy
Voz'mesh shatenky - bydesh xolostoi.



Re: Russian Date From Hell
Posted by Hank on September 10, 1997

Thanks, Muslim-aka.
I knew you will not miss this opportunity.
I already express my opininon in my original posting..
I just want to reply to you to re-confirm it:

Shatenka il' blondinka,
Teper' mne vse ravno..
Bud' Liudka ili Ninka,
Kladi ee na spinku,
(Ne pozabud' rezinku)
Beri - poka dano!

No prigotov'sia vskore
S polna s nei raschitat'sia,
Il' budesh' zhit' v pozore,
Nasil'nikom schitat'sia..



Re: Russian Date From Hell
Posted by Oleg on September 10, 1997

Kogda b umel ya kak evrei
Vsegda v obizhennyh schitat'sya,
Imeya den'gi-pribednyat'sya,
Ya b tozhe h-j obrezal poskoree...
Kogda b umel ya kak uzbeki
Vsyu zhizn' na rynke torgovat'
I luchshe vseh sebya schitat'-
YA by chapan odel naveki..
A esli by ya byl chechen
S baran'ej shapkoj by ne rasstavalsya-
Nabral pobol'she b zhurnalistov v plen
I musul'maninom primernym okazalsya...
Natsmenov mnogo-raznye oni,
Kto s h-em rezanym, kto s avtomatom,
Na strojke tol'ko chto-to ne vidat'
Evreya muskulistogo s lopatoj.



Re: Russian Date From Hell
Posted by TOR on September 12, 1997

Oleg. Chto delat', kazhdomu - svoe,
Zavidovat', kak ty, nikto ne mozhet.
Dolzhno byt', vot ono - prizvanie tvoe
I ne tebe otryad obrezannyh umnozhit',
I torgovat' zanyat'e ne tvoe.

Tak, mozhet byt', chadru primerish'?
Brat' zhurnalistov v plen - durnoe remeslo,
No sam-to ty hot' chto-nibud' umeesh'?

Il' tol'ko lapkoj klavishu davit'
I, ishodya kak suka techkoj,
Ot zavisti i zloby poteryat'
Oblichie kogda-to chelovech'e.

Natsmenov mnogo, raznye oni,
No mudakov v lyubom rodu hvataet:
Kto davit pal'tsem na vesy, kto na kurok,
A kto - kak ty - v izvestnom meste kovyryaet.

I raznitsy, kak vidno, nikakoj,
Furazhka, kepka il' baran'ya shapka,
Mudak on ostaetsya mudakom
Hot' v Afrike,
I tyavkaet kak shavka.
* * *
Post scriptum ya dobavil by esche,
Chtob v Internete bylo men'she tvari -
Da, obrezanie tebe ne povredit,
No luchshe, chtob golovku otorvali.






II

Iz emigratsii
Posted by Canny on August 28, 1997

on Re: Golubiye Kupola
posted by Igorek on August 27, 1997

Mne bilo 7 let kakda ya uehal iz tashkenta.
edinsvinoyo shto pomnyu eto restarant Golubiye
Kupola .....

* * *

Mne godik byl, kogda vpervye
Ya poznakomilsya s vinom.
I s toj pory moya stihiya -
Gashish, Gomorra i Sodom.

V dva goda vzyal ya v ruki finku,
V tri - nastoyaschij pistolet,
V pyat' - ne zastegival shirinku,
V shest' - grabil cherez Internet.

V sem' let menya izgnali vlasti.
Ne prosyhaya ot vina
Prishlos' uehat' v odnochas'e,
Pokinut' milye mesta.

Teper' mne vosem', kovyryayu
Ya zubochistkoyu v nosu,
Pro restorany vspominayu
I bezmyatezhno dzhin sosu.



My Friend From China ( Zhen-s-China )
Posted by Canny on September 21, 1997

on Re: a skolko zhenschina daet moloka?
posted by little russian

Moj drug iz Kitaya po imeni Dzhan
Nedavno otkryl na domu restoran,
A chtob na bazar ne hodit' daleko,
Korovu zavel i doit moloko.

Esli poran'she s zaryeyu prosnetsya -
Vedro moloka nadoit' udaetsya,
A esli ne doit buryenku on v srok,
Daet ta kefir i tvorozhnyi syrok.






III

Re: Anyone from school #10 ?
or Roman-German Philology TashGu
Posted by B.Uratino on October 02, 1997

Anyone from school #10 ? or Roman-German Philology TashGu
posted by Snezhana on October 01, 1997
Hi, everyone!
My name is Snezhana. If anyone remember me please, e-mail me

Ti ischesh cherez Internet
Proshedshix vesen sled…

Grexi moix veselix let
-Mne vspomnilsa Tashkent.

Ja byl po babam chempion.
Nu prosto Don Juan
Moj mir
Byl chetko razdel'on
Na Zhann I na ne Zhann.

I Ja S_Ne_Zhannoj
Ne s odnoj
Togda
Krutil roman
I navsegda smutil pokoj
Ja mnozhestvu ne Zhann.

I Zhannam tozhe byl znakom
Moj laskovij obman
No Zhannam Ja predpochital
Lubuju iz ne Zhann.

Naveki v pamjati moej
Zapechatlelos' eto
Obaldevan'e strastnix dnej
Snezhannoj iz Tashkenta.